Slick and His Coffee Stir

Tom’s been around, since the reel-to-reel, From Pine dale to Big Piney, keeping it real. A little opinionated, but that’s his way, Still got that spark, every single day. It’s the drive home, from Sublette to here, Tom’s on the mic, with a voice you can cheer. From the classics to the latest hits, He’s still got it, no doubt about it!

(Verse 1) I came home with a flag in my hand, A hero’s welcome in a broken land. But the cheers faded fast when I walked through the door, And I saw what I wasn’t fighting for. A baby’s cry cut through the air, But the eyes weren’t mine, and I couldn’t stare. She said, “I’m sorry,” but the words felt thin, The war I left was the one within. (Chorus) Now I’m drowning in empty promises and whiskey, Trading my medals for a bottle of misery. I gave my all, but it wasn’t enough, Love turned to ashes, and life got too tough. So I’ll drink to the end, let the pain take its toll, ‘Cause the battle at home broke this soldier’s soul. (Verse 2) I tried to forget, but the memories stayed, The vows we made, the price I paid. She said she loved me, but the truth was clear, The life we built disappeared. I watched her cry as I closed my eyes, But the hurt ran too deep, and the well ran dry. I raised my glass to the life we lost, And paid the price, no matter the cost. (Chorus) Now I’m drowning in empty promises and whiskey, Trading my medals for a bottle of misery. I gave my all, but it wasn’t enough, Love turned to ashes, and life got too tough. So I’ll drink to the end, let the pain take its toll, ‘Cause the battle at home broke this soldier’s soul. (Bridge) They say time heals, but the scars remain, A heart too heavy, a life too vain. She followed me down that lonely road, Two broken hearts, one final load. (Chorus) Now we’re drowning in empty promises and whiskey, Trading our dreams for a bottle of misery. We gave our all, but it wasn’t enough, Love turned to ashes, and life got too tough. So we’ll drink to the end, let the pain take its toll, ‘Cause the battle at home broke two weary souls. (Outro) Now the flags fly low, and the silence screams, Two lives undone by a shattered dream. We’ll meet again where the pain can’t go, In a place where the whiskey don’t flow.

[Verse 1] Well, he ain’t no cowboy, but he’s got that charm, Swings a tennis racket like he’s back on the farm. Fixed my drawer, washed my floor, Then took my pup outside the door. [Pre-Chorus] Two hours on the highway, just to see my face, Ain’t no question, he’s winnin’ this race. [Chorus] Ohhh, Dennis, you’re a keeper, and a whole lotta fun A paddleboardin’, dog-walkin’, son of a gun. You bring the laughs, you bring the love, Like a candlelit play from the heavens above. Ohhh, Dennis, don’t you see? You’re the sweetest thing that ever happened to me! [Verse 2] He ain't from the south end, but he’s livin’ there, Still, he’s got that down-home, country flair. Takes my Goldendoodle out to pee, And still finds time to spoil me. [Pre-Chorus] Thoughtful and funny, generous too, Darlin’, Im so lucky that I found you. [Chorus – Repeat] Ohhh, Dennis, you’re a keeper, and a whole lotta fun A paddleboardin’, dog-walkin’, son of a gun. You bring the laughs, you bring the love, Like a candlelit play from the heavens above. Ohhh, Dennis, don’t you see? You’re the sweetest thing that ever happened to me!

The year was 1864, when blood ran through the plains A boy was born in a brothel’s back, baptized in the rain His mother took her final breath, a bullet to the chest He never knew his father, just the vengeance in his head By the time he turned 21, he earned his feared name Rattlesnake Jake, with a viper’s fate, and a six-gun full of pain He rode through towns like a fleeting ghost, always on the run Searching for the killer who had left his mother’s life undone Yippie-yi-o, Yippie-yi-yay A lone gun rides beneath the burning sky Yippie-yi-o, Yippie-yi-yay And somewhere in the dark, the devil grinned inside From Texas down to Mexico, he left a trail of red Every man who stood before him met the reaper’s hand instead He never knew their names or cared, he’d cut ‘em down the same If there was a chance that one of them had fired that fatal aim One night beneath a desert moon, his shadow met a shade A man in black with crimson eyes and a voice like burning fate He said, “Son, I like your work, you filled my halls with souls But if you want the name you seek, I’ve got a deal to hold…” Yippie-yi-o, Yippie-yi-yay One more soul and I will tell you why Yippie-yi-o, Yippie-yi-yay He reached into his coat… and signed his name in fire He rode on through the break of dawn, a contract sealed in dust The devil laughed as Rattlesnake Jake left bodies in the rust And when at last he found the man who’d shot his mother down His hand shook like the rattlesnake that gave him his renown He pulled the trigger, fired once, but never heard a sound For when he fell, he looked around… and saw hell’s open ground Now every night when the lightning strikes, and thunder shakes the plains You’ll hear him riding, screaming wild, forever cursed in flames Yippie-yi-o, Yippie-yi-yay A lone soul rides beneath the blood-red sky Yippie-yi-o, Yippie-yi-yay And somewhere in the dark, his mother softly cries…

You got a product, it’s something they need,
Built with some value, oh, it’s guaranteed.
Set the right price, don’t make it too high,
If it’s just right, then they’re gonna buy. (Chorus)
Marketing’s smooth, like Tennessee whiskey,
Strong like a brand that they just can’t resist.
Place it so right, where they gonna find it,
And promote it, so it shines just like this. (Verse 2)
Put it in stores or online all day,
The place really matters, that’s what they say.
And if you push it, with ads on their screen,
Promotion’s the fire that fuels the dream. (Chorus)
Marketing’s smooth, like Tennessee whiskey,
Strong like a brand that they just can’t resist.
Place it so right, where they gonna find it,
And promote it, so it shines just like this. You got a product, it’s something they need,
Built with some value, oh, it’s guaranteed.
Set the right price, don’t make it too high,
If it’s just right, then they’re gonna buy. (Chorus)
Marketing’s smooth, like Tennessee whiskey,
Strong like a brand that they just can’t resist.
Place it so right, where they gonna find it,
And promote it, so it shines just like this. (Verse 2)
Put it in stores or online all day,
The place really matters, that’s what they say.
And if you push it, with ads on their screen,
Promotion’s the fire that fuels the dream. (Chorus)
Marketing’s smooth, like Tennessee whiskey,
Strong like a brand that they just can’t resist.
Place it so right, where they gonna find it,
And promote it, so it shines just like this. (Outro)
So if you’re selling, you better believe,
The 4 Ps of marketing will help you succeed.

[Verse] Crickets sing their evening song, Underneath the twilight sky, Old truck's engine hums along, As we wave the day goodbye. [Verse 2] Grandpa's rocking on the porch, Whittling wood by the fire's glow, Memories burn like a torch, On our home on a gravel road. [Chorus] Home on a gravel road, where the wildflowers bloom, Every sunset paints a canvas, every star shines like a jewel, Home on a gravel road, where our hearts have always known, This is where we find our peace, a place to call our own. [Verse 3] Mama's garden's growing tall, Vegetables in neat rows, Early morning rooster's call, Promising a day that flows. [Verse 4] Kids are running through the fields, Chasing dreams without a care, Every day's a story sealed, With love floating in the air. [Chorus] Home on a gravel road, where the wildflowers bloom, Every sunset paints a canvas, every star shines like a jewel, Home on a gravel road, where our hearts have always known, This is where we find our peace, a place to call our own.

I tried to ride a saddle down in Tennessee, But the leather couldn’t handle all the weight of me. The fellas at the bar keep laughin’ out loud, Sayin’, “Boy, your boots are big, but not as big as you’re proud!” I ain’t braggin’, I ain’t lyin’, But when I walk, you’d swear I’m ridin’. My cock’s too big for this small town, It’s breakin’ hearts, it’s causin’ frowns. I tried to tuck it in, but it won’t stay down, Lord, my cock’s too big for this small town. I met a sweet little girl out in Amarillo, She said, “Come on cowboy, let’s share a pillow.” But when the lights went out, she screamed with fright, She said, “Honey, that ain’t a pony—I’m callin’ it a night!” A curse or a blessing, I can’t decide, But it’s a long, hard road when you’re packin’ this ride. My cock’s too big for this small town, The local girls can’t hang around. I tried to settle down, but it’s renowned, Lord, my cock’s too big for this small town. Mama always told me, “Son, don’t you boast, Life ain’t a contest, but you’re winning the most.” Daddy said, “Boy, keep your head held high, But don’t let your ego block out the sky!” My cock’s too big for this small town, It’s splittin’ jeans and causin’ gowns. I tried to lay low, but word gets around, Lord, my cock’s too big for this small town. So I’ll head out west where the skies are wide, Where a man like me’s got room to ride. Maybe someday I’ll find my bride, ‘Til then, this big ol’ cock’s my pride.

[Verse] There's a rabbit on Facebook, they call him Bun Jovi, With big ol' ears and a hop so lively, He's got a profile, and he's living free, In a small-town garden, just as happy as can be. [Verse 2] He digs in the dirt and nibbles on clover, Sharing his tales from his little hill delover, With pictures and posts that make us all grin, Bun Jovi, the rabbit, where do I begin? [Chorus] Oh, Bun Jovi, you're a Facebook star, Hopping through life, no matter where you are, From the garden fence to the digital sky, You show us how to live with a gleam in your eye. [Verse 3] There's a picture of him in a tiny blue hat, Sitting by the tulips, looking all that, He’s found his followers, from near and far, Bun Jovi’s charm is raising the bar. [Bridge] With every hop, every twitch of his nose, He spreads a bit of joy wherever he goes, On social media or in someone's yard, Bun Jovi's heart is never too far. [Chorus] Oh, Bun Jovi, you're a Facebook star, Hopping through life, no matter where you are, From the garden fence to the digital sky, You show us how to live with a gleam in your eye.

[Verse] They say it's for the good of the land, A tax on the air, paid by our hand, But out in the fields where the north winds blow, We're struggling to keep the farm afloat. [Verse 2] From Maple Leaf to the timbered pines, They're charging us for every dime, Promising green but all I see, Is red on my books and poverty. [Chorus] Oh, climate tax, they're lyin' to me, Takin' our money, it ain't free, They speak of change but what I see, Are empty barns and fallen dreams. [Verse 3] Paid the levy, gave all I could, But the cows ain't fat and the crop ain't good, They say it's science, but where's the proof, When all it buys is a leaky roof? [Chorus] Oh, climate tax, they're lyin' to me, Takin' our money, it ain't free, They speak of change but what I see, Are empty barns and fallen dreams. [Bridge] Out on the prairie, the truth unfolds, Hard working folks with heavy loads, It's a grand deception, can't believe my ears, We've been taxed on sweat, blood and tears.

[Verse] Down the road in his worn-out boots, There's a fella everyone salutes. Playing games and making folks grin, But it's them feet that get under his skin. [Verse 2] He’s got a shelf of sneakers so neat, Gives his heart a rapid beat. From sandals to those old cowboy chaps, He's got more shoes than naps. [Chorus] Chuggaaconboy, he ain't shy, Talks 'bout feet till pigs can fly. Wearing Reeboks, Crocs, and more, Got feet and shoes worth singing for. [Verse 3] In his videos, he's all in, But it's the footwear that's his sin. From Mario hops to Pokémon walks, His love for feet gets all the talks. [Chorus] Chuggaaconboy, he ain't shy, Talks 'bout feet till pigs can fly. Wearing Reeboks, Crocs, and more, Got feet and shoes worth singing for. [Bridge] Every size, from big to small, He’s got them posters on the wall. Laugh and jest, but now you see, Feet and Chuggaaconboy, they be meant to be.

[Verse] SlimKirby sat down to play, In Mario Party, bright as day, Stars and coins, the stakes were high, Laughs and cheers filled the sky. [Verse 2] Through the minigames he fought, Every victory he sought, Board by board, he took his turn, But fate had something fierce to learn. [Chorus] Oh, SlimKirby, with his eyes on the prize, Lost by a coin, much to his surprise, One step short of that sweet embrace, Victory slipped from his grasp's trace. [Verse 3] One last turn, the tension grew, Rival players, they all knew, The countdown felt like eternity, As he landed just shy of victory. [Verse 4] The crowd fell silent, hearts they ached, A single coin was all it'd take, The scoreboard showed what should’ve been, But destiny turned with a grin. [Chorus] Oh, SlimKirby, with his eyes on the prize, Lost by a coin, much to his surprise, One step short of that sweet embrace, Victory slipped from his grasp's trace.

[Verse] In a room with glowing screens, He holds his rightful throne. With hands that craft the unseen, In Hyrule, he stands alone. [Verse 2] ZFG, the player's ace, With tricks and turns so sly, Through forests, fields, and space, He makes Link's spirit fly. [Chorus] Cheating time, breaking scenes, He finds the hidden ways. Ocarina's wistful themes, Guide him through the maze. [Verse 3] With glitches, skips, and slides, He conquers every land. In the realm where courage hides, He’s got Zelda in his hand. [Chorus] Cheating time, breaking scenes, He finds the hidden ways. Ocarina's wistful themes, Guide him through the maze. [Verse 4] Water Temple's twisted path, He knows every corner tight, Ruto's tears and Ganon's wrath, He’ll beat them all by night.