Barstool Sage

[Verse] Rollin' down the dirt road where the sky is bright Singin' ‘bout the good things feelin' all right Health and happiness down where the rivers flow Top-santé FouKaang let's give it a go [Verse 2] Doctor Michée has a secret remedy Nature's cure for every kind of malady Migraine go away and let me stand strong Feel the rhythm of life like a perfect song [Chorus] Infertilité kyste myome gone Prostate diabète don't hold me long Paralysie épilepsie say goodbye Constipation tension cancer won't catch I [Verse 3] Down by the fields where the wildflowers grow We find solutions that make our spirits glow Raise a glass to health with a cheerful cheer Abel and Yekonya keep the pathway clear [Bridge] Under the stars we gather by the firelight Stories of healing echo through the night With every breath we’re singing to the stars above A journey of well-being leading us with love [Chorus] Infertilité kyste myome gone Prostate diabète don't hold me long Paralysie épilepsie say goodbye Constipation tension cancer won't catch I

Well, it’s Christmas Eve, and I know what that means I shouldn’t message you, but here I am, just like I always do Been watchin' every move you make, every video you post Hell, I saw your bio on TikTok—"Girls 4 Life"—what the hell, now you’re gay? Guess that’s why you left me on read, girl, I’m just another fool, But when you leave me out in the cold, hell, I keep runnin’ back With the oldest trick in the book Merry Christmas, dear, from the man you once ghosted I figured it was over, that boy from Japan, you know the one, that nerd You act like you don’t care if he’s catfishin' you or if you end up in some mess But hell, it ain’t my problem now, you made that crystal clear And when he or she hurts you, don’t you dare come back to me, Actually, go ahead, I don’t even care, 'cause here I am, still tryin' The oldest trick in the book Merry Christmas, dear, from the man you once dismissed I hope I ain’t rude, but you’re actin’ kinda prude I’m just tryna help, girl, let me confess Yeah, I think you're kinda cute, but that attitude? Well, I don’t know, You treat me like a toy, say you don’t care at all Look at me now, I’m just like you, still runnin’ back With the oldest trick in the book Merry Christmas, dear, from the man who had your back Yeah, Merry Christmas, dear, from the man who still keeps track

[Verse] Saw you down at the local bar, Thought you'd be smarter than to stray so far, But there you were with her in your arms, While I'd been home, keeping safe from harm. [Verse 2] You think you're clever, talking history all night, Spouting politics, thinking you're so bright, But you don't fool me, not with your cheap disguise, I'm done believing all of your lies. [Chorus] I'm done with your history lessons and sneaky ways, Don't need your politics to fill my days, Found you cheating, now we're through, Boy, I've had enough of you. [Verse 3] You were just a bore with your endless debates, Never took me dancing, never had real dates, Now you've shown your true self clear as day, Won't be fooled again by your play. [Chorus] I'm done with your history lessons and sneaky ways, Don't need your politics to fill my days, Found you cheating, now we're through, Boy, I've had enough of you. [Bridge] Thought you could hide behind those fancy words, But actions speak louder than the nonsense I heard, So take your secrets and walk on out, I'm taking back my heart, no more doubt.

[Verse] On a crisp fall morning, we gather 'round, In Rocky Top, where legends abound. Orange and white, we take our stand, With the spirit of Neyland, hand in hand. [Verse 2] From the Smoky Mountains to the river's edge, In the heart of Dixie, we make this pledge: To uphold the honor of the Volunteer name, Through victory and heartache, always the same. [Chorus] Tennessee pride, in every cheer, Echoes across this land so dear. With courage and might, we always fight, For the Volunteers, under the bright lights. [Verse 3] Through the blood and sweat of days gone by, We've seen champions rise, we've heard eagles cry. From Peyton to Reggie, they've led the way, Their legacy lives on in us today. [Verse 4] In every town and country road, You can feel the spirit, see the orange glow. For our boys in helmets, we kneel to pray, They steal our hearts with every play. [Bridge] Under the scoreboard, we lift our hands, To the team that carries our dreams and plans. In victory's glory or defeat's sting, For the Volunteers, we'll always sing.

[Verse] Well, Jimmy's at the bar again, preachin' loud and proud, Slurrin' 'bout conspiracies, attractin' quite the crowd, He's tipsy on that old bourbon, thinking he's so wise, But all he's spreading lately is a bunch of drunken lies. [Verse 2] He claims he knows the secrets of every hidden plot, Got theories 'bout the government, no common sense he's got, When it comes to matters, he's ignorant and wrong, That barstool's like a soapbox where he sings his swan song. [Chorus] Oh, Jimmy why're you talkin' 'bout things you don't understand, You got a drink in one hand, your mouth around some brand, Spreadin' hate and nonsense, boy, don’t you see the shame, It's time to leave that bar, stop playin' this foolish game. [Verse 3] We all got dumb friends, and you're one of the best, But when you start a speechin', we all feel a bit distressed, Your views are outdated, your humor’s more than blue, Drivin' all the good folks out, leavin' just a few. [Verse 4] Remember that time in Texas, you shouted "build that wall," Got chased out by cowboys big and small, You didn't learn your lesson, you just keep getting worse, Jimmy, clean up your act before you end up in a hearse. [Chorus] Oh, Jimmy why're you talkin' 'bout things you don't understand, You got a drink in one hand, your mouth around some brand, Spreadin' hate and nonsense, boy, don’t you see the shame, It's time to leave that bar, stop playin' this foolish game.

[Verse] Close the bar at midnight, stagger to my car Whiskey on my breath, and regret's not far Turn the ignition, engine starts to whine Heading down the lonely lights of Highway 9 [Verse 2] Darkness all around me, no stars in the sky Thoughts of you come creeping, bringing tears to my eyes Speeding past the memories, trying to leave 'em all behind Who knew that this empty road would be so unkind? [Chorus] I didn’t see it coming, blinded by my tears A sudden crash of metal, hit a deer Now I’m stuck between a past I can't outrun On this lonely highway, with nowhere left to turn [Verse 3] Fumbling with my phone, no signal out this far Sitting in the wreckage, staring at the scars The smell of burning rubber, the shattered glass and blood A life that's left in shambles, sinking in the mud [Chorus] I didn’t see it coming, blinded by my tears A sudden crash of metal, hit a deer Now I’m stuck between a past I can't outrun On this lonely highway, with nowhere left to turn [Verse 4] Sirens in the distance, flashing lights up ahead Blue and red reflections on the road where I bled They pull me from the wreckage, cuff my trembling hands Life can change forever with one terrible plan

[Verse] Every morning try the key but it seems to rust My truck's got its temper and it's kinda unjust Won't start for work no it ain't got trust But it turns over fine in the evening dust [Verse 2] Got a laugh from the neighbors they think it’s a game Only cranks up at night for the neon flame Tried to fool it once but it's always the same My truck won't move for a day job shame [Chorus] Turn the ignition but it knows my heart Only roars to life when I need some spark Headed to the bar where the night’s my art My truck lights up in the dark [Verse 3] Mechanic told me son it’s all just fine Got a full tank of gas and it purrs like wine But no force can change that stubborn mind My truck’s got a soul that's simply divine [Bridge] Old rebels of the road they respect its will Legends of the night boy it gets its fill But come sunrise it’s silent on the hill My truck’s got its ways that give a thrill [Chorus] Turn the ignition but it knows my heart Only roars to life when I need some spark Headed to the bar where the night’s my art My truck lights up in the dark

[Verse 1] Thomas Riedy, known far and wide, They called him “Greedy,” with a twinkle in his eye. Said, “I’m lookin’ for a prize I can hold, Somethin’ mighty, somethin’ bold.” He chased his dream, couldn’t be swayed, Till he found the one he craved. But when he got what he was askin’ for, It knocked him flat on the floor. [Chorus] That hog was too big for my buns, Too much heat for this man to run. I thought I was ready, I thought I’d won, But it turned out I was overdone. Oh, the dreams of a greedy man undone, By a hog too big for my buns. [Verse 2] He bragged in bars and whispered low, “Wait till you see what I can show.” But when the moment finally came, Greedy Riedy wasn’t the same. He shook, he trembled, he gave his best, But that hog put his strength to the test. He bit the dust, couldn’t keep the pace, And left with shame all over his face. [Chorus] That hog was too big for my buns, Too much heat for this man to run. I thought I was ready, I thought I’d won, But it turned out I was overdone. Oh, the dreams of a greedy man undone, By a hog too big for my buns. [Bridge] Sometimes we ask for more than we need, The weight of want turns into greed. Now I sit here, tired and sore, Knowin’ I can’t handle any more. [Chorus] That hog was too big for my buns, Too much heat for this man to run. I thought I was ready, I thought I’d won, But it turned out I was overdone. Oh, the dreams of a greedy man undone, By a hog too big for my buns. [Outro] So take it slow, don’t rush too fast, Or you’ll find yourself outclassed. Greedy Riedy learned the hard way, son, Some hogs are just too big for your buns.

(monkey sound effect) (Verse 1) Well, Sea Monkey Do, he’s on the prowl tonight, Got a craving for somethin’ that just feels right. He’s got a wild look in his eye, don’t you know, He’s huntin’ for that fruit, let the fever grow. Oh, Syler’s feelin’ that jungle heat, A funky monkey, swingin’ from his seat. He said, “I need it, baby, just one bite, That banana’s callin', I can't deny.” (monkey sound effect) (Chorus) Sea Monkey Do, there's a hunger in his soul, For that sweet, ripe banana, make him lose control. Monkeyin' around, it’s a funky little game, Syler’s cravin’ that fruit, and he’s not ashamed. Jungle fever's risin’, oh, can’t you see? That banana’s everything he needs to set him free. (Verse 2) He’s got the taste for somethin’ so sweet, Can’t wait to peel it, between his cheeks. He’s got the moves, yeah, he’s got the style, When he’s after that banana, you know he's wild. He said come on, baby, let’s make some noise, I’m a funky monkey, but I’m not playin’ boys. Give me that banana, right here, right now, I’m ready for the feast, I'm ready to chow." (Chorus) Sea Monkey Do, he's always on patrol, For that sweet, ripe banana, make him lose control. Monkeyin' around, it’s a funky little game, Syler’s cravin’ that fruit, and he’s not ashamed. Jungle fever's risin’, oh, can’t you see? That banana’s everything he needs to set him free. (Bridge) He’s got that monkey business on his mind, Can’t stop the rhythm, it's one of a kind. He’ll swing from the trees, make the night his own, with that banana, baby, he’ll never be alone. (monkey sound effect) (Chorus) Sea Monkey Do, there's a hunger in his soul For that sweet, ripe banana, make him lose control. Monkeyin' around, it’s a funky little game, Syler’s cravin’ that fruit, and he’s not to blame. Jungle fever's risin’, oh, can’t you see? That banana’s everything he needs to set him free. (fiddle solo) (Outro) So if you see Sea Monkey Do comin’ around, lay that banana right on the ground. Peel it slow, let the monkey take the lead, With Syler’s jungle fever, he'll take your seed.

(funny monkey noises sound effects) (Verse 1) Well, Sea Monkey Do, he’s on the prowl tonight, Got a craving for somethin’ that just feels right. He’s got a wild look in his eye, don’t you know, He’s huntin’ for that fruit, let the fever show. Oh, Syler’s feelin’ that jungle heat, A funky monkey, swingin’ from his seat. He said, “I need it, baby, just one bite, That banana’s callin', I can't deny.” (Chorus) Sea Monkey Do, there's a hunger in his soul, For that sweet, ripe banana, make him lose control. Monkeyin' around, it’s a funky little game, Syler’s cravin’ that fruit, and he’s not ashamed. Jungle fever's risin’, oh, can’t you see? That banana’s everything he needs to set him free. (Verse 2) He’s got the taste for somethin’ so sweet, Can’t wait to peel it, feelin' that heat. He’s got the moves, yeah, he’s got the style, When he’s after that banana, you know he's wild. He said come on, baby, let’s make some noise, I’m a funky monkey, but I’m not playin’ boys. Give me that banana, right here, right now, I’m ready for the feast, I'm ready to chow." (Chorus) Sea Monkey Do, he's always on patrol, For that sweet, ripe banana, make him lose control. Monkeyin' around, it’s a funky little game, Syler’s cravin’ that fruit, and he’s not ashamed. Jungle fever's risin’, oh, can’t you see? That banana’s everything he needs to set him free. (Bridge) He’s got that monkey business on his mind, Can’t stop the rhythm, it's one of a kind. He’ll swing from the trees, make the night his own, with that banana, baby, he’ll never be alone. (monkey noises sound effects) (Chorus) Sea Monkey Do, there's a hunger in his soul For that sweet, ripe banana, make him lose control. Monkeyin' around, it’s a funky little game, Syler’s cravin’ that fruit, and he’s not ashamed. Jungle fever's risin’, oh, can’t you see? That banana’s everything he needs to set him free. (fiddle solo) (Outro) So if you see Sea Monkey Do comin’ around, lay that banana right on the ground. Peel it slow, let the monkey take the lead, With Syler’s jungle fever, he needs your seed.

(hounds howling sound effect) (Verse 1) Well, Johnny’s been down in Baton Rouge, With a Cajun grin and a devilish mood, He’s been eyein' me since the break of dawn, Now he’s sittin' there, tappin' his toe to my song. He’s got that fire burnin' deep in his soul, Says he wants to dance ‘round my bonfire's glow, But there’s somethin’ on his mind, and I can tell, That boy's got a hunger, oh, it’s raisin' hell. (Chorus) Johnny’s beggin’ for my bone, Down here in Louisiana, where the wild winds blow, He wants a taste of that Cajun heat, Moanin’ for a bone-ing, beggin' for meat. He’s dancin’ ‘round, tryin’ to get me alone, Johnny’s beggin’ for my bone. (Verse 2) He’s callin’ me sugar, callin’ me sweet, But when he looks at me, it’s a whole new beat, He wants a taste of that spicy gumbo, Ready to stir the pot, baby, let it flow. Got a fire in his heart, and his eyes are wide, He's startin' to drool 'cause he wants me inside, But when that boy whispers in his Cajun tone, I know what he wants—he’s beggin’ for my bone. (Chorus) Johnny’s beggin’ for my bone, Down here in Louisiana, where the wild winds blow, He wants a taste of that Cajun heat, Moanin’ for a bone-ing, howlin' in heat [hound dogs howling sound effect]. He’s dancin’ ‘round, tryin’ to get me alone, Johnny’s beggin’ for my bone. (Bridge) He says, “Sugar, you know what I need, I’m beggin' like a dog for that Louisiana seed, Let’s make some love that’s hotter than fire, I want to feel that Cajun desire.” I told him, “Boy, you better know, You ain’t gettin' nothin' until you put on a show.” He grinned and said, “I’ll follow you home, If you let me, baby, I’m be beggin’ for your bone.” (Chorus) Johnny’s beggin’ for my bone, Down here in Louisiana, where the wild winds blow, He wants a taste of that Cajun heat, Moanin’ for a bone-ing, shootin' that skeet [shotgun blast sound effect]. He’s dancin’ ‘round, tryin’ to get me alone, Johnny’s beggin’ for my bone. (short fiddle solo) (Outro) Yeah, Johnny’s beggin’, he’s down on his knees, Wants that Louisiana love all over his cheeks. Come on, baby, i'll make you moan, Johnny’s beggin’ for my bone.

Morning drinking just to get thinking, got to hide that liquor breath so I can pretend to be normal just like you. This was never suppose to be me. Wrapped around a bottle and feeling hollow. Tired of trying, tired of crying, tired of lying. Years disappear, people gone, bonds broken, now I’m the toxic one. Gotta fix me, gotta get me back, I made a decision to keep on living but the road is long and hard. Nights dealing with demons and no bottle to turn to. Cold sweats, shakes and Ativan to help get me thru. Chairs in a circle, stories to tell and stories to hear, one day at time learning to accept things with courage and wisdom. Trying hard to keep my word and let my truth be heard. The life I have been living I have to keep digging to make it right. Always on my mind trying to leave it behind. I am trying to get it right but everyday is a fight. I am going to survive and wait for that life I'm striving to hold. Chairs in a circle, stories to tell and stories to hear, one day at time learning to accept things with courage and wisdom. Trying hard to keep my word and let my truth be heard